Ironically, we were singing "Amazing Grace" while I was reliving my thoughts and feelings of hating the stupid idiots that populate the planet and my life.
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me . . ."
("Oh yeah, and also that soccer coach who was rude to Josh, what an incredible jerk . . . ")
A few minutes later, I heard God say to me, "Have you ever said anything stupid?"
Of course, the answer is, Yes. I know in my heart that I say stupid things all the time. In fact, just a few minutes before, during the socializing time prior to the memorial, I had said something to an acquaintance that I deeply regretted. So, yes. I have and I feel bad about it.
Slowly, the incongruence of the moment stuck me. Here I am singing about grace, supposedly worshiping the God of grace, acknowledging the grace in my friend's life. I walk around as an undisciplined extrovert counting on the grace of God and people to cover all of the unthoughtful or inappropriate things that I might say. I think God was pointing out to me that it's the same grace that covers the stupid idiot things that random strangers say about Josh. Can you believe it? Grace covers insensitive things said about kids with special needs.
I thought back to that moment at Bed, Bath, and Beyond and imagined Grace being present. I pictured the face of the man who had said those things about Josh. Though the lens of grace I could see that he was not a stupid idiot. He was a person in need of grace, just like I am. I forgave him and felt a burden lifting from my heart.
" . . . was blind but now I see."