“In many ways we are like the busy man who walks up to a
precious flower and says, ‘What for God’s sake are you doing here? Can’t you get busy some way?” and then finds
himself unable to understand the flower’s response: “I’m sorry, sir, but I am just here to be beautiful.”
Henri
J.M. Nouwen Creative Ministry
When my son is being slow I find myself so easily
frustrated. Sometimes it takes
him forever to get out of the car or to decide that he’s done at the
toilet. The busy mom in me, who is always aware
of the millions of other things that I need to get done that minute, is tempted
to blurt out, “Josh, why can’t you go faster!?”
Life with Josh is never expeditiously productive. Josh doesn’t think very quickly. His body doesn’t decide to do things very
easily. Communication with Josh is like
being at a coffee shop with intermittent wi-fi.
Usually, at the zenith of my impatience, I find that God
gets my attention. He often plants a
question in my mind like, “Why do you need Josh to be more effective and
efficient?” I am guessing that it has
more to do with how I feel about myself and about my life than a true assessment of what my son
is able to do in that moment.
I also begin to realize that my son was not created to be
fast. Josh will never
be a resident in the realm of high productivity or immediate transformation.
Josh is here on this planet to be a parable about a different way. His purpose is to make people slow
down, even to stop for a bit. His impact
will be on those who are willing to pause and rethink our assumptions about how
things have to be.
The other day Josh walked out of the house loudly munching on a
zucchini like it was an apple. I had a
knee-jerk response to rebuke him. “No,
Josh, we don’t eat uncooked zucchinis!”
One of my girls asked, “Why not, Mom?”
You know what? I did
not have an answer. Yes, it was unwashed
but that isn’t the biggest deal in the world.
Why can’t you eat a raw zucchini if you want to? I have eaten them diced into salads
before. There is nothing inherent in a
zucchini that necessitates cooking. If
my child is happy to eat a vegetable, without my forcing him to, why would I
stop him?
“Well . . . go ahead, Josh.”
“Well . . . go ahead, Josh.”
I put my unemptied grocery bag and armful of jackets down and sat on the bench in front of my house and watched him eat the whole
zucchini with great gusto like it was a sweet, juicy peach. Upon finishing, stems and all, he looked very
satisfied and amused. He started clapping
and humming, choosing this moment to have a little celebration. Watching Josh quieted my spirit. I smiled, knowing that Josh had been placed in my life just to be beautiful.